22 November, 2006

Mary arrives in Tassie; texts Markson


















"Mette, take the spud, whydoncha, I've to get out the cellie and wave before we're out of shot. Go to Mor, Christian! Uuuhhh, that kid weighs a ton, what in the hell do you FEED him, Mette!?"

TO MAX MARKSON
FROM HRH MARY

OK, U R OFF THE HOOK 4 NOW. JUST GOT IN - ON THE TARMAC STILL. FRED LOOKS RESTED. BETTER BE. NICE TOUCH W STORY OF HIM POPPING INTO DELI LIKE AVERAGE JOE. HE LUVS THAT SHIT. JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF PHOTOGS HERE. FINALLY. U REALLY OWED ME BIG, BUT THINK U'VE MADE UP 4 IT. NO TICKER TAPE PARADE, BUT PLENTY OF OPPORTUNITY 4 "HAPPY REUNION" SHOTS 4 NOW - GOOD. ALSO MAKES MY WAVE LOOK SPONTANEOUS AS IF PEOPLE HAD FORMED A CROWD 2 SHOWER ME W LOVE. IMPLICATION: I CAN'T COME 2 THE FENCE 2 TAKE THEIR FLOWERS AND FRUIT TINGLES SINCE THIS IS PRIVATE VISIT HAHA. THANX FOR ELIMINATING FRUIT TINGLES FROM FURTHER TOURS. ENUF! NANNY DIDN'T GET MEMO, FORCED HER 2 LAFF AS IF WE'RE BIG HAPPY FAMILY. PLEASE ADD HER TO DIST. LIST.

GOOD IDEA LOADING THE PLANE MEL-HOB W MONARCHISTS. THEIR FAWNING MAKES 4 GOOD COPY. GOING STR8 TO JANES NEW SEE-THRU DIGS 4 FEW DAYS. NOTIFY ALL, BUT PICK ONE PAPER FOR EXCLUSIVE INTERVU THIS PM. NOTIFY THEM CANT ENTER DIGS. WE'RE 2 RETAIN MYSTERY. THANK GOD JANES MOVERS GOT LAST PIECE FURN OUT OF UGLY BRICK HOUSE IN TIME. DON'T CARE HOW MUCH CRAIG WAILS, LOW CEILINGS DO SUFFOCATE ONE. GUESS PATTY N SCOTT ARE TOO MAD I DON'T GET THEM NEW HOUSE 2. SUCK IT, GUYS. WHAT HAVE U DONE FOR ME LATELY, PATS?

DONT FORGET - SALAMANCA SQUARE 2-MORROW AT 2PM. MAKE SURE WE ARE PHOTO'D BUT CAN STILL MOVE FREELY. FRED PROMISES MORE REGULAR JOE CRAP. I'LL BE WEARING GOLD AND EURO TRASH CLOTHES. PS. SEND OVER 4 INCH HEELS - ANJA FORGOT TO PACK - DANGER IN GETTING TOO COMFY AT HOME AND SHOWING REEL BODY TYPE.

MAX - NO SHOTS OF ME WALKING UPHILL OR STRUGGLING WITH STROLLER. REMEMBER EDICT: NO LONGER HUMAN, NOW QUITE ROYAL. THEY EAT IT UP. PLUS, HARDER W-OUT DANISH PRESS SPECIAL ELONGATION LENSES 4 ME. LOOK IN-2 GETTING SOME OF THOSE.

HRH ME

7 Comments:

Blogger Hester said...

What's with the huge white bag? Bit of overkill, I mean, we know Mary hasn't carried anything for several years. Caroline even carries her handbag, doesn't she? My guess is that it is completely empty and for stashing things - slurrrrrrrp!!! for the trip back. Is it a subtle hint, Taswegians? I also noticed that Mary found the ONLY Danish woman who is actually marginally shorter than she is. That must have taken quite some casing around. The poor girl looks terrified in the photo - you know that hysterical, terrified laughter? Bit like Fred's high-pitched nervous giggle at the zoo.

November 26, 2006 8:56 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You raise a good point Hester. Most Danish / Scandanavian women are tall and lean. Was it Mare's squatty, broad-shouldered, thick-thighed, no-waist body type that appealed to Freddy? Or did he simply need to find someone shorter than him. He could have stayed with his last love - was it Bettina or ?? - and pulled a Tom Cruise (ie elevator shoes in the Tomkat wedding photo).

November 27, 2006 2:07 am  
Anonymous Stacey said...

She's had that bag for a long time. Has always liked big bags. Guess they match her ego and she feels comfy like that.

Great website. Love to read this!

November 27, 2006 5:12 pm  
Blogger Cece said...

I believe the bag is just large enough for Miss Thing to carry all the Boganson ceremonial accoutrements and talismen for the big family pow-wow in the Tassie bush (hehe).

The question is whether this is a feminine version of Burning Man (Bogan Woman) with Jane and Mares and the nieces stripping down to recently purchased poly-blend market saris and war paint, while Freddles meets John Jr's old high school buddies on the docks for a discussion on whether walk-in coke humidors are for toffs only, or not. Poor Freddums, he wants so much to be a regular Joe, and he tries SO HARD to de-toff once in Oz.

November 27, 2006 5:51 pm  
Anonymous Cassini said...

Cece , Do we detect a nugget of affection for the little hedonist ?
Is it true he wants to be an Average Joe ? Maybe Fred has had a vision or just had a chance to smell the eucalyptus.
In any case, we accept the compliment and have put a sixpack in the fridge with his name on it!

November 27, 2006 7:19 pm  
Blogger Cece said...

Bless, you, Cass, the boy will be most pleased. Certainly hope the brew is in cans, not bottles - bottles are so toff!

My goodness, what a fun holiday for him! Trampolines! Brewskis! Carrying the family shopping bag full of Monopoly and Boggle games (you know it ain't Scrabble)! Meeting brother John's old HS buds on the docks for some dirty talk in exchange for the contents of the diplomatic bag! Escaping from the "wife"! Wha hae! Now he's just got to get Rob Roy to figure out how he can rule Denmark as the Antipodean King!

November 28, 2006 3:33 am  
Anonymous kitty said...

The nanny's got a Tom Cruise laugh going there. Really fake and forced. Do you think Mary and Fred had to drug her like Tom did Katie to turn her into an obedient zombie? LOL!! Scary Mary is right!!

November 28, 2006 5:30 pm  

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