24 November, 2006

It's a Bogan, Bogan, Bogan, Bogan World

Prince Frederik thought bubble:

Can't wait to go home and play all these games with the kids!!! Oh, man!! First I'll take a little dip into the walk-in humidor and see if it needs dusting up, hehe! Then I'll be ready to chill out and get my game on, oh boy!! Then maybe we can go jump on the trampoline!! Oh, please, I hope so!! I hope those gold bracelets I bought Mary will put her in a good mood so she'll let us go outside and jump!! Oh, please, please!! Wha hae!!

Alex Stephens' thought bubble:

Where the hell are my shoes?

Erin Stephens' thought bubble:

I am looking SO COOL with Auntie Mary's hot pink lycra tank top on! I am SO GLAD she let me have it. Mummy said she was purging her closet and said that this was her star making outfit. Omg, I so hope that means that if I wear it and get photographed in it like Auntie Mary that I'll find a weakling prince with mother issues that I can boss around, too!!!

Kate Stephens' thought bubble:

I love walking around in my pajamas. They're so comfy and make moving from the bed to the shops to the trampoline that much easier. Plus I don't bother with my hair for extra time for fun. Auntie Mary sure does teach us great things like how to be lazy and let others do for you.

Princess Mary thought bubble:

Hey, kid, HEY, look at ME!! Why don't you ever LOOK AT ME!!! LOOKER ME, GODDAMNIT!! Jesus, I know I don't spend that much time with you, but it's not like we just met, for pete's sake. Christ almighty this kid weighs a freaking TON! What in the hell does she feed you!? You're a freaking butterball pumpkin-head. Man, you look like the Pictish side of the family. That ain't gonna win you any fashion mag covers, babe, but Rob Roy says it's perfect for retaining Boganson tribal magic. Even your little baby chompers are coming in all crazy crooked. They'd better work some Pictish magic because I don't want to get blamed for your ugliness. It's bad enough that I inadvertantly let the side down when I'm home and show off the real me. Now, looker me, dammit!!

Prince Christian's thought bubble:

Do you see this? Are you getting this on film? I want all of you to take as many photos as you can because I want this shit on record. Do you hear how my "mother" talks to me? Do you HEAR THIS? Can you believe it? I swear to god, ever since I left the de-yellowing incubator she has been like this. I think Far's onto something with all the whiskey. Helloo, couldja BRING IT DOWN A NOTCH? Jesus, do you not think my ears are developed yet? I can HEAR, ok? And unfortunately I can see the world pretty clearly now and let me tell you, the sights at Aunt Jane's house are pretty bizarro. Are you all watching through the glass? Can you believe it? White powder everywhere. And if Far isn't playing with me and my cousins, he's coming up with a new excuse to split and meet with Uncle John's bozo, loser friends. Can you believe my grandpappy's new teeth? Thanks a shitload, old man. Now mine have to be all fucked up. Nice. Aunt Jane's making "Nanny" Mette sick with the vegemite grilled cheese sandwiches and "Mummy" makes her cry by making her set up her personal camera equipment or leaving her alone in the house while we galavant around town for the locals. What a freaking circus. Makes hanging out with Daisy and grandpapa look that much more sane. Jeez, I'm so pissed I could kick a marsupial.

Jane Stephens:

"Mary, we can hear you. Just put him in the stroller. I know you've got a "dedicated mother" thing you've got to try and get out there, but I think Max was right. It's a hard sell. C'mon. Just put him in the stroller."


Anonymous Anonymous said...

My favorite is the Jane Stephen's thought bubble.

November 26, 2006 5:17 pm  
Blogger Hester said...

Indeed anonymous, the long-suffering, enduring sister. Further thought bubble might be: hope the marriage works...hope the marriage works....

November 26, 2006 5:30 pm  
Anonymous sunny said...

Great posts, Hester and Cece.

Say, any sightings yet of JOHNCOCK? Did he end up going to prison for raping his under-age student and if so, will Mary and Fred visit him in prison? Or did he get off "Scot free" based on his connections?

Hmm, maybe this is where Fred is going when he disappears for a few hours...to visit / talk to Johncock and share life experiences ??

November 26, 2006 7:21 pm  
Blogger leesa said...

Cece, you've done such a wonderful job! Thank you for all your efforts!

Yes, she's trying very hard, Mrs Denmark, isn't she, but if it's fake it ain't gonna work! Love the way she's trying to communicate with the tyke who doesn't recognize the face attached to the mouth slobbering on him. And true to his genes, he's focusing on the camera. Crikey, that's one helluva mother's boy! - Fred's playing it cool, man, cool, with his incognito sunnies stuck on his nose and staring at the pavement. His thought bubble would be " 8 days to go and counting ... I'll miss the humidor but hell, gotta get to boating and some fun. Will have a humidor with extra high ceilings in the new place...Good thing Janey tried it out here...Where's the nearest Liquor Store?"

November 26, 2006 8:29 pm  
Blogger leesa said...

Where oh where is sister Patsy? Girls fallen out, dare I suggest!

November 27, 2006 5:19 pm  
Anonymous Kenocchio said...

And Xn's bubble...some inheritance!- having to spend the rest of my life, burying these bogan connections, and the ambiguous image created by dear mor and far...how's the record going to look, 50 years from now, with mother rummaging around a flea market for bargains, revealing her inner bogan - disguised in denmark with war paint, feathers, and an eastern european cranial prosthesis - I've some conflict of image to contend with!

November 27, 2006 7:17 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Everyone one should click thru the highlighted links in the JANE STEPHENS thought bubble.... it is too funny. Under the 'let others' link I couldn't believe the photo... one boot, just one boot, not even two boots, one boot.... have a look !!! You are too much Cece and Hes, too much. Where do you get these spot on pics ?

November 29, 2006 12:35 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please tell me who Johncock is
Thank you.

November 29, 2006 12:31 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Someone wanted address. Look in Tas. white pages its there.

November 29, 2006 12:41 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brendan Johncock is a relative of Princess Mary who lives in Tasmania and is/was a teacher. In 2005 he was charged with some 16 charges of rape and numerous charges of sexual assault against a student. He pleaded guilty to a few of the sexual assault charges and innocent to the rest. Thanks to this pleading strategy and likely intervention of royalist government officials in Tasmania and on behalf of Mary he was found innocent of the other charges. The outcome makes him no less a scumball. He went to Mary's wedding and when she visited Tasmania in 2005 (after he had been charged) she appeared in photographs with him.

November 29, 2006 11:04 pm  
Anonymous Accountability said...

How DARE Mary appear at a school in the context of a charity against bullying and violence if she invited a rapist with charges pending to her wedding. She is a hypocrite and a disgrace, and despicable.

November 29, 2006 11:21 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Accountability: while JOHNCOCK may very well have carried out the rape and assaults on his student before/at time of the wedding, the charges were not made until after the wedding; but I believe the charges had been laid at the time she was in Taz in 2005 and appeared in photographs with him at a Taz family wedding. But you are right, the fact that the crime and assault involved one of his students makes the crime all that much more disgusting. Obviously Mary had nothing to do with his behaviour per se, but it does raise questions about her family, background and values. We should also remember that Mary was sleeping with a 18 year-old rugby player in Sydney at the same time she met / started dating Fred. In some parts of the world, this would also be considered statutory rape of a minor. She would have been 28 or 29 at the time.

November 30, 2006 12:48 am  
Blogger Cece said...

In regards to your comment, last anony, about family values, it was Jock Boganson's brother who was defending Johncock tooth and nail to the press saying he was completely innocent and the charges were bogus and may have even tried to smear the reputation of the young girl who spoke out. As you say, of course Mary is not responsible for this, but it gives a bit of context for clan values and behaviours.

November 30, 2006 3:36 am  
Blogger Hester said...

Hmmmm, where was Uncle Peter on this visit? Perhaps Mary did a bit of horsetrading: "I'll kill off my close family relationship with Peter if I can hang out with Amber for a bit". On the Johncock: charges were certainly pending, and the DRF grey suits would have been well aware of it - unless they're slow.

November 30, 2006 9:27 am  
Blogger Cece said...

Or maybe it was Uncle Peter who told Mary he'd take a hike in order to hang out with Amber for a bit! Could explain her absence!

December 01, 2006 7:25 am  
Anonymous Cassini said...

After all the recent ' Laser Rejuvination' Amber's skin isn't as thick as it once was. That F&M Media spotlight is intense and can drain your wallet and put almost 10 years on your appearance! Must ensure to maintain her new found ' Dignity and Grace' as a 5 Day EMIRATES Gold Pass does not a career make.

December 01, 2006 11:43 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What is the hiccup in the marrage agreement does anyone know??

December 02, 2006 10:47 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

does christian ever smile? strange for a one year old - always so serious?? whats up with that, maybe he was bored with OZ ;-)

December 07, 2006 2:29 pm  

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