11 December, 2006

Fweddy fwims in his iddy biddy poo

This classic was all ripe for skewing, so sit around the billy and sing along!

Down in de meddy in an iddy biddy poo
Fwam two liddle fiddies an a mama fiddy too
fim fed da mama fiddy
fim if oo can
fo dey fam and dey fam all over de dam

Singin' boop bop dittem dattem wittem choo!
boop bop dittem dattem wittem choo!
and dey fam and dey fam all over de dam.

ftop, fweddy, fed da mama fiddy
or you will get wost
but de two widdle fiddies didn't wanna be bossed
de two widdle fiddies dey went off on a spree
and dey fam and dey fam
right out to the sea

boop bop dittem dattem widden choo!
boop bop dittem dattem witten choo!
and dey fam and day fam ite out to de fee

Whee! fed de widdle fweddie fiddy
Here's a wod of fun
doo biss so muss fun Mawy!
we'll fwim in de fee till the day is done
Vey fam and dey fam and it was a lark
Till all of a sudden it began to get dark

Hewp! Cwied widdle fweddie
Mawy's weewy a SHARK
An she coming wight at me
and she nark and she NARK!
An kwik as he could
he turn on his tail
and he fam and he fam
wight back to de dam

Fee, widdle fweddie?
fed da big mam fiss
Didn oo know dat SHARK is call
FLAKE down under??????
Dat Mawy, fe's DANZEWUSS!

But iss OK I hass iss look after it
And da mama fiddy pwoduce a
an let her widdle fiddy
fafely keep fimming aroun'
and fimming aroun....
and fimming aroun...
and fimming aroun...

I'm still fad, said fweddie
an i feel like I had da wollmop
tweatment weal bad.
But now I'm good. I can woll mysef up
an' I don't need dat shark putting a toofpick fwoo my
fpine to keep me stwaight any more.
Night night mama fiddy
(*ucks fum)


Blogger Hester said...

P.S. With thanks to Ky Kyser's original lyrics of 1939 of course!

December 11, 2006 11:32 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ripe for skewing! I'd say that little 'wollmop' has been ripe for skewering all along.
How about a 'fwogman' on a lily pad next, in the tradition of Burl Ives???

December 12, 2006 12:47 am  
Anonymous Leesa said...

For those who may not be familiar with the original and the melody, go here:
Minimize the website and you can happily sing along to the tune!

December 12, 2006 1:59 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just have to ask. Is that a picture of Frederik showing his wee-wee?

December 12, 2006 5:37 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Totally OT, just saw a trailer for the newly released DVD "The Devil Wears Prada". Is that a veiled reference to Mary?

December 12, 2006 7:15 am  
Blogger Hester said...

Indeed anonykins - one day one of La Shark's wardrobe minions may tell all! Perhaps the servant with the bandaged knee, photographed after being corralled into a courtyard and forced to enjoy the spectacle of Mary hooning around on a scooter with Fweddie on the back. Fun! Stimulus! Edification! A memory to tell the grandkids!

December 12, 2006 7:35 am  
Blogger Cece said...

Indeed, second anony, 'cept Fweddles himself refers to it as a 'oui-oui', sang francais oblige!

December 12, 2006 7:48 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If that's a picture of Fred as a boy, I think Fred might have grown up to be a well-hung man.

December 12, 2006 7:55 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Where do you come up with all these pictures? They're great! Especially the one of Fweddie in the pool.

December 12, 2006 3:11 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is someone visiting this wonderful blog who lived with Mary or knows any of the housemates from the PINK PALACE in Paddington? If so, perhaps you can tell us how well hung Freddums is? You must have got a pretty good look when he was running around the kitchen in his jocks when he slept over during the Olympics (have always wondered why Mary didn't go stay in his room at the Four Seasons... guess Freddums couldn't risk the photogs gathering evidence he was cheating on his girlfriend in Denmark ?

December 12, 2006 6:15 pm  
Anonymous kitty said...

I dunno. Little boy pee pees are huge at birth!

Maybe Mary's the one who calls it a oui oui since she was saying yes to the title and wallet the little rollmop was attached to.

Anonymous I'd say Fred is a boxers man, it's hard to know what they're carrying around in those. But maybe roomie Andrew Miles being a sex industry worker coaxed it out of Fred?

December 13, 2006 4:41 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kitty, who is Andrew Miles? Is he a friend of Fred's? Also, I wonder if the the Mary fans from RBHQ come over here for some light reading.

December 13, 2006 5:42 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Andrew Miles is a PR graduate and paid sex industry advocate who was Mary's longterm flatmate in Bondi Junction.

December 13, 2006 7:02 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cece/Hester, you gals seem to be really good at finding stuff. Can you tell me where I can find a transcript of the Ninka(?) interview? I would love to read it. Thanks!

December 13, 2006 5:46 pm  
Anonymous sunny said...

I hear that In-Bread and Scares (Fred and Mary) took Christian to (presumably) this first "HUNT". Shame, shame, shame. What a f**king hypocrite Mary is...isn't one of her quotes "poor Bambie"?? What a bloody, sick tradition. Who was going to modernize the monarchy..and be a good mother ????

December 14, 2006 1:47 am  
Anonymous Maria said...

This has nothing to do with the post but I f****** cannot believe this - Billed bladet has an interview with Mary's sex-offender cousin!! Can you believe it!! He has the nerve of complaining about spending christmas in jail! Also her cousin is staying with him - I can't believe that either! From Billed bladet: http://www.billed-bladet.dk/default.asp?Action=Details&Item=4674

Cece and Hester; we need a message board!

December 14, 2006 9:39 am  
Blogger Cece said...

Maria, terrific news for the schadenfreudists among us! I agree about the message board, alas, it is more work than a blog. Any volunteer admins?

Regarding the Ninka Interview, try this link:
Starting with Post #36, you'll find excerpts, great comments and even horoscope. Have fun.

December 14, 2006 10:07 am  
Anonymous Maria said...

About a message board; I have no idea how much work it is but if there's an interest for it I wouldn't mind trying to make one (or rather - I'll make my husband make it..).


December 14, 2006 10:57 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Haha. The Wiki page on Mary has the following editorial comment - the editors have also removed (several times apparently) all references and links to this 'satirical' and 'fantasy' website about the CP.

Editorial comment from WIKI:

I viewed this page toady and was shocked to see someone had added biased and rude comments about Mary as well as changing names for example Frederik to Freddo and Donaldson to Boganson. I found this to be rude as well as very unencyclopedic, so I deleted this information immediately as well as added a section on marriage. If anyone else notices these types of additions please delete them as it not only is unencyclopedic but unnecessary. Thanks

December 14, 2006 11:52 am  
Anonymous Leesa said...

Maria, I'm all for it and happy to get involved!

December 14, 2006 1:12 pm  
Anonymous Cassini said...

Most Game Hunters justify their participation in the sport of Hunting with the following explanation: Game hunting is important because these small isolated herds of deer/elk/rabbit/birds/peasants established hundreds of years ago, have experienced significant amounts of inbreeding resulting in genetic abnormalities, behavioural problems & anti-social behaviour.
The 3 main objectives of the herd is to: “Eat , Sleep & Procreate“
New breeding stock has been introduced with limited success.The only real way to improve future bloodlines of this herd/community is to effect selective culling , sterilization or segregation from the herd.
The reality is quite different ! These hunters shoot at anything that moves, then return to sit around a campfire to discuss their latest conquest / assault on nature.
This Macho band of merry men need to go home and look in the mirror and realise the above explanation describes them perfectly.

December 14, 2006 2:19 pm  
Anonymous sunny said...

Cassini, hee hee re the in-breeding - ad so true.

Maria / Cece / Hester - I'd be keen help set up and run the message board. I might be able to get my partner to help out on the technical side if you need help he is an engineer and real IT nerd....

December 14, 2006 11:30 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Those poor deer - dying for the ignoble causing of making wee fweddy, one of whose balls was bitten off and pinned to a wall in Bondi Junction until Mary threw it out in the garbage (why didn't the journo recognise it? Coulda flogged it for a fortune!) look manly!

December 15, 2006 12:19 am  
Anonymous Maria said...

My husband is busy - he's looking at a system and found a name so when it's up I'll let you know!

December 15, 2006 8:37 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My reservation about a message board is that the Kommandant would love nothing more!

December 15, 2006 9:48 pm  
Anonymous Maria said...

I hope the board will be up on monday. If you've got ideas for it please write them here! I was thinking in particular about forum guidelines - my English isn't good enough for writing them. All I know is that I don't think it should be like RB!

December 16, 2006 1:39 pm  
Blogger Cece said...

Maria, tusind tak to you and your hubby! What a great initiative, one that will be most appreciated by so many. I look forward to hearing what everyone has to say about guidelines - nicknames encouraged, is my own starting point!! Skewer any one you want, just not other posters!

December 16, 2006 3:34 pm  
Blogger Hester said...

Whoo hoo! Pwince Fweddums, Pwince foo foo, Prince Lachrymose, Princess Pushy....can't wait!

December 16, 2006 4:49 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with Cece - the standards should be based on hilarity, not niceness...snarkety snark!

December 16, 2006 7:01 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whoo hoo!! Can't wait for the new board! Great going, Maria! Agree with Cece, harrassing of other posters should be disallowed.

December 17, 2006 7:02 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In case you all haven't read it...

Jeppesen: Jesus and Mary
Jeppesen to church with the CP
Michael Jeppesen - 19:00 - 18. dec. 2006

Mary is like Jesus Christ. Mary is also born in a stable in a waste place, and when she grew old, she became real estate assistance. It’s of course not exactly the same as being a carpenter, but it has something to do with houses.

When Mary grew old, she also met John the Baptiste. Mary’s John the Baptiste’s name was CP Frederik, and that was the first time ever she had seen a Black Am-Ex-card.

Sinse then she’s been able to go into the one clothes shop after the other without sinking to the bottom, and like Jesus Christ also only socialised with those lowest in the society, Mary is also only friends with people, whos parents are cousins. But like Jesus she has it the very best when she’s together with her disiples

The H-word
I have to tell the rest of the story afterwards. Mary just arrived to the Esajas Church on Østerbro in Copenhagen, and the childrens choir stands ready.

- Kling klong, ding dong, then I know that it’s soon Chirstmaaaaaas ...

There’s nothing better than young girls and boys without balls. It sounds exceptionally beautiful, when they sing.

Mary sits in the very front row, on especially reserved places. And those who greeted her had nice clothes on. And everyone shut up and rised for her, when she went through the church. Exactly like Jesus also would have wished it to be, if it was him, who should visit.

And afterwards he would have gone directly out to the Esajas Church’s priest. Because she lives on one of the country’s most expencive addresses, Viggo Rothesvej in Charlottenlund. Even on the forrest side. That’s really something for Jesus Christ.

But if he’d seen, that the church, which today was stuffed, in one month will be completely empty, then he would have been a tiny bit angry. He might even have tended to use the H-word.


No, Mary.

Free deo
- Maria has a liiitle child!

So do I, thinks Mary.

Next song is called “The Sheppards stood on the ground”

- Why am I born under so extremely poor coooonditions, sounds the words.

Mary looks mysterious. She looks like it’s a bell ringing somewhere. Like she comes to think of something. But she hasn’t time to find out, before they start to sing a song called Deo Gracias.

Deo? Gratis (= free)? Yes, please, thinks Mary.

- Halleluja, halleluuuja ... Sions guards raise their voices ...

Yeah, God, I’m sure raising, I’m pregnant!

- They’re happily waiting in Jerusaleeeem!

Oh, will Frede and I go down there on an official visit, that’ll be exciting.

- Halleluja, halleluuujaaa ... To eternal time, eeeteeeernaaal tiiiiime!

Eternal time. That’s just like me, I’m too eternal.

And while Mary enjoys herself with the songs in the church, I’ll tell the rest of the story about her and Jesus.

She listens to the children
When Jesus died, everyone believed it was over. Priests all over the world held their breath. Even Flemming Pless became nervous. But then Jesus resurrected three days later, and the People’s Church was saved.

When those home in Denmark saw pictures of Mary the first time, they also believed it was a lie (Danish expression for that it so bad they didn’t belived it). But then she attended a Princess School, and just like Jesus could turn water into wine and a peace of bread into 40 fishes, Mary suddenly had slim heaps and big breasts.

And just like Jesus also destroyed the Temple, when he saw how wasted it was, Mary turned Kancellihuset in Hillerød (where RG lives, 10 km south of Fredensborg) into 1000 squaremeters of luxury.

And now she and Jesus sits in each their heaven, and when people pray hard enough and sends enough of collections, she steps down and visits their stands on next years exhibition.

And below the photo:

All Denmark's prinsesse Mary is to concert with The Royal Danish Music Conservatorium’s Children’s Choir. But she’s a little bit disappointed, because there where no palm leafs when she arrived. On the other hand the childrens house’ logo is a rabbit, and that’s a good design branding, thus that Mary likes a lot.

December 20, 2006 1:40 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To whoever finished the translation. Thanks! It's a great article.

December 21, 2006 3:30 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would be so embarrased if a picture of mine, such as this one where Fred is showing his jewels, became 'public property.'

December 24, 2006 10:40 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope that didn't morph into Fred's seduction face ...

September 27, 2010 5:30 pm  

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